You are not Alone

"How do you do it? You seem so enthusiasts, passionate, and determine about what you do, I can't do that I just wanna lay down on bed and do nothing. Everything is too overwhelming for me, I can't do anything"

I get tired too

Well, the truth is, I am a human too. I feel overwhelmed, anxious, consistent fear, and got beaten down too. In fact, I think everyone is. There are days I feel super passionate and driven to complete tons of works all at once but there are days which are hard for me to even grasp, to even get out of bed, zero motivation, or complete mundane tasks. It's tiring. There are days I feel like the world is ending, everything is so small and I just want to disappear. To be frank, I have a major meltdown/ panic attack almost every single day. It's hard for all of us, this pandemic situation, chaotic and super overwhelming. And I am here to say it's fine to feel that way. 

PRODUCTIVITY

It depends on your perspective, or how you perceive it. Be it finally taking your first shower at 4pm or finally eating a decent meal, or even getting up from bed is productive to you, so be it. Whatever feels nice to your body and your mental health, do it. If you're an over-worker and felt the need to prioritize your well-being more, do it. Lay in bed, do nothing, binge on Netflix series, do it. It's hard, it really is. 

IT'S OKAY TO TAKE THE DAY OFF

This is a message for myself too, putting a mirror for self-reflection. Being on social media can be very overwhelming especially in these hard times. I feel like we're too focused on portraying or masking behavior of "Being productive" is the only positive thing you could do. Too indulged in the idea that it's bad to not do anything. I tend to overwork and neglect my own needs too, which is rest. My body needs it, we all do. I was listening to Duncan Trussel's podcast the other day about how we're too indulged with the news and how it's eating us up, mentally. Claustrophobic, drowning feeling that the news portrays to the world; everything is bad. Nothing is curable. I think it really makes sense, yes social media may be the only thing we could indulge because we're stuck at home but I am trying to make a new habit; waking up and not immediately check my phone. It's not easy, it's like reading the newspaper for me. The moment I woke up and grabbed my phone, It's a learned behavior. But yes, I could unlearn and try a new habit. In a summary; prioritize your needs. I took 5 extra months to complete an extra online course which I signed up for during quarantine, I push things to the deadline, I feel so much burden and worry about my educations too, I overthink and drive myself crazy with intrusive thoughts too, and I procrastinate a lot, too. I am not gifted, I am constantly battling with this built-up anxiety and constant worry which is not easy to deal with. I am slowly healing and recovering. It' a lot to take in, but we're going to be okay. I promise <3

ctto. source; pinterest